The Ultimate Jester

Come one, come all! We've got a matchup of the ages this evening: Leilani "The Punisher" Reed vs. Shane "Tongue Twister" Marroquin face off in a duel to the last laugh! Only one of these two competitors will win the title of The Ultimate Jester.

Shane whistles with the overt pleasure of a free bird, sauntering down the hallway with hands in pocket and lips quirked in a permanent easy smile. He's in search of one of his favorite people, a recently learned joke bursting from the insides of his cheeks. His eyes light up as he catches sight of the unsuspecting prey turning the corner of the school hallway, her back open for attack. With a burst of energy and the determination of a feral cat, Shane jogs down past the row of lockers and turns the same corner to come up behind Leilani, arms outstretched and primed for tickling. His fingers grip the soft fabric of her shirt as he squeezes her sides gently, hoping he has picked the spot that will give him the desired reaction.

Although his flight back home had been canceled, Mister Reed did not fail to send his daughter this month's joke book entitled Ouch by A.B. Stung.

It's the furthest Leilani has ever pushed her nose inside of a book, and a particular joke about serial bee murderers being called buzz kills causes her to wrench her face from the book as she fills the halls with her signature high-pitched giggling. She turns the next page, and her face is practically buried into her book once more. She hasn't even gotten to the punch line before she squeaks in surprise.

The fingers on her sides move in a way that makes her toss the joke book into the air as she scrambles to get away from the tickling culprit's evil clutches. She barely catches the book, and when her eyes finally focus on the culprit, Leilani huffs playfully.

"Shane! How could you?" She cries. "Sneaking up behind me like that -- you don't play fair!"

Shane hadn't even noticed the book Leilani had practically glued her face to until it sailed into air as a result of his surprise greeting, but he can't help but thinking, Now that is comedy! Bending over in mirth, Shane lets out a snort of laughter that quickly turns into an unapologetic bout of chuckling. He wipes a tear and his face relaxes back to its easy amiability as he replies, "I could because your reactions are worth playing a little dirty." He fixes his hands on his hips with a wink, reveling in the success of the moment before he pops back into an upright position, hands reaching this time to settle on Leilani's shoulders. His expression is grave as he stares her in the eye until the moment begins to stretch into an almost uncomfortable silence. Finally, in a voice flushed with feigned anger, Shane speaks, "A man just assaulted me with milk, cream and butter..." He trails off, needing the pause to lean over one of Leilani's shoulders and reach her ear, husking the punch line, "How dairy." He's lost again and rears back, reeling in the throws of laughter as he crows, "Dairy!" His hands clutch his own sides as he watches Leilani for her reaction.

The tense expression on Shane's face combined with the way he grips her shoulder is startling if not unsettling. In the time that she's known him, Shane with a frown upon his lips is a bit out of character.

Although the silence between them isn't long, the intense stare makes it feel like like an eternity has gone by. She's about to ask, "What's wrong?" but his lips move faster than hers.

Assaulted with milk, cream and butter...?

One of Leilani's eyebrows quirks up in confusion as her lips purse. What on Earth could he be talking about? She's taken aback by how close he is to her when he leans in to whisper to her. His breath tickles the shell of her ear, and she slightly shivers before what she actually says resonates with her.

"Dairy?" Leilani asks as she watches her friend howl with uncontrollable laughter.

"Dairy!" Shane repeats as his hands clutch his sides. Leilani's rosy colored cheeks puff up with air before she lets out her signature high pitched laugh. It takes a moment for her to compose herself, and when she does, her right hand reaches up to gently pat his shoulder.

"Shane, Shane, Shane," she gives a sly smirk. "Your joke was pretty good, but hardly legendairy!" Leilani snorts at her own joke.

"But even if was a cheesy joke, I'm sure you feel grate about it!" Again, another chuckle escapes her. "Listen, I'm gonna tell you about the that one Italian chef. Did ya hear about him? He pasta way the other day."

Shane's laughter subsides as he watches the confusion melt into comprehension on the face of his partner in comedy, only to be replaced with a wild grin as Leilani's peals of laughter make their reappearance in the hall. He's left to bask in the glow of borrowed glory for but a moment before Leilani's hand comes to a rest on his shoulder with joking patronization. Her expression of superior comedic intellect alerts him to an incoming joke that he awaits with wide eyes, smile only starting to slip at the appearance of the "but" in his friend's rejoinder. The resulting repurposing of his own joke causes him to snicker despite the attack on his taste in puns, and he's about to retort when he realizes with horror that she is far from finished schooling him.

He immediately regrets his decision to take on the resident master of jokes as she continues to issue them out at an alarming speed. He groans incredulously at the cheesy remark; she had nerve to make that joke! Refusing to be cowed, however, Shane locks his jaw and refuses to laugh at the pasta pun, which lasts all of 2 seconds before he's chuckling against his will. He begins to clap slowly, leading into a low bow of mock deference, but before Leilani can get too comfortable in what she must believe to be a savory victory, his grin returns full force with the weight of his next words behind it, "Truly, you are great and as of yet unmatched in your craft, mac, and cheese. However, it is high thyme we challenged that!" Gliding his palms past each other in glee, he wracks his brain for something acceptable, "I mean, that poor chef. I'm sure that nosey Pepper was the first one to hear about it. After all, all she does is get Jalapeño business."

High thyme, eh? Leilani thinks, and a small giggle leaves her lips. So, Shane likes to pepper his sentences with zesty puns. She has to admit, his taste levels are hardly questionable.

"Alright then," she says. "Show me whatcha got!" As curious as she is about his next joke, Leilani is hardly worried it'll blow her out of the water. Seriously, who could beat the "pasta way?" C'mon! That's priceless! Shane's stepped of her turf unannounced, so he can't complain when she absolutely punishes him.

Gently, Leilani's tongue glides over her slightly dry lips while she watches Shane idly rub his hands together while in thought. He hasn't even told his joke yet, and she is already grinning in anticipation.

When he speaks, her ears practically filter out all the background noise in the hallway, and all her focus is on him. In all honesty, she should have known something was fishy when he threw Ms. Pepper in the mix.

The punchline gets her real good - almost knocks her off her feet! She stumbles backwards a bit before she throws her head back in laughter. "You're so corny!" She cackles. It's an oldie, but it's definitely a goldie in her book!

"You know~" Leilani giggles. "That little nosey pepper told me they caught the guy who killed the chef. I hear he was a cannibal, and when they caught him, the guy threw up his hands in frustration!"